absolutely trash.

Last Valentine was the toughest, yet warmest Valentine I’ve ever had, so far. Tough not because I spent it alone, I actually had my boyfriend in town for two days and we celebrated the day with wine, which later that night my –what’s the proper English for “kampungan”? ;p – body threw up. And warmest not because the temperature outside was warm, as we were in Bandung that night. It was the warmest valentine, mushiness and sentimentality speaking, because the very next morning we had a pretty hardcore fight which later, very later that day ended up with him proposing. Sort of.

No, offcourse not, it wasn’t the kind of proposal a girl like me would’ve brag about. I guess it’s safe to say, on behalf of all young women (majority of the female population, if not), women want the kind of proposal that their girlfriends would envy, and their male bestfriends would copy. But it was just the perfect corny proposal, delivered in the basement of a shopping mall I barely visit because the crowd there is meh, but he needed to get his glasses fix (yes, broken because of the drama), so well yeah. Still, and I know this is gonna sound BEYOND lame, there was something about the way he looked at me that made me feel very secure about this madness. A feeling I haven’t gotten to know much since we dated. So not being hindered by the place and how I dressed myself that day, it felt pretty awesome.

Before I get to the cheesy bits, let me tell you about the fight. From the scale 1 to chris brown, he was FURRIOUS. And I was like amy winehouse who had just lost her life time supply of coke to a taylor swift groupie that thought it was happy-thoughts dust. But then I got tired of all the fighting, so I decided to leave, realizing I have absolutely no cash in my wallet, just my credit card, and since you can’t pay a cab with a credit card, I called Egan, like I always do when I cry, asking him to help me out of the madness. But then I went back, then Andro left, then he left again and came back again, then he left and didn’t come back for 10 minutes then I called him and he came back, then left again, then we all went laughing about this minutes later, then we went out for sushi like we haven’t eaten in days, and suddenly it all made sense: we make sense together. So I said yes. Sort of.

Because how often do you feel like saying yes to something that hasn’t even finish being put into a sentence?

PS. this might ruin the moment that punch-line was meant to give, but come to think of it, I really am frightened by the thought of Mariah Carey. She’s like Martha Stewart in South Park series to me.

This is Dramaqueeningrum, reporting from her room, on a saturday night.

Just when I taught I want to spend the night on the phone with my boyfriend instead of catching AVATAR in the cinema, my boyfriend decided to date the playstation.
And since no one is babysitting me, I’ll just talk to the internet, telling any one who have kindly wasted their time reading my writings, that I have been offered a job as a PR in an oil company of which HQ is in Jakarta,
Whereas I have NO IDEA until monday about where I will be placed at to do gawdknoswut until 2013.

What else.. What else.. Ah! We have (by that I meant my mother) a new house member. No, her name is not Satimin or Waltinah. She will answer by the name *drum roll* Sarah.
My friend Alfin, has Dea and Yayang helping his mother with houseworks. Another friend of mine has Tris, pronounced Trace. I have Sarah. It’s not that I’m a snob so I have other people to do my chores. It’s because I have ADD, I tell ya.
How I ever got my final paper done, I still wonder. Sarah and Mbak Imas are inseparable! It’s kinda cute tho. Reminds me of that splendid disney-feeling I used to have back when I was in the 5th grade and I’d spend hours and hours just hanging out with my bestfriend Rosa Virginia Carla. I wonder where she is now. We lost contact because blackberries haven’t been invented back then. I blame technology sometimes, ya know..

Made a lot of new friends these past few weeks. Stuttered in a presentation. Had a hair cut. Though no one could tell, because I like my hair long that I am such a bitch when it comes to letting Mas Ajat do his job.
I taught my baby niece to say “gue!”. I lost weight, a lot, and gainned enough back to regret ever loosing weight because now I feel like a total failure. I feel so emo that I actually cut my bangs myself. Regret that too. I look like john travolta in grease, except no hair gel and a leather jacket.

Speaking of which, there’s this leather jacket I HAVE THE HOTS FOR. And I’ve been actually thinking of spending my xmass bonus on it, but…

No friggin way I am giving in to consumerism. *coughs bullshit*

But seriously, I’d rather save up for a master degree, the golden ticket (if not scholarship) to exit the black hole I’m in. Don’t get me wrong, (because I don’t want to get sued for SPEAKING UP ON MY PERSONAL BLOG), it’s a great place to work at, promissing carrier, good salary and all…. It’s just that… My heart’s not there.

enough emo-ness, back to your regularly scheduled program.

(And shall we play, “who’s going to have fun in bandung tomorrow?” XD

Dear Internet,

Long time no see. The blog, I meant. Offcourse I have been online. I have cyberpets on my facebook page, and I need to bitch-slap rivals that have been attacking me on sorority life. It only makes sense to go online so often.

oh, and I have been tweeting pretty much lately. not because the site fascinates me, and surely not because I have given into the mass -as I have had my own twitter account long before all the ho-ha, even before I have finished that constipating final paper I whined oh so much about last year. I tweet simply because I, now, can. to quote shitmydadsays, “no one gives a shit about what your cellphone can do. you didn’t invent it. you just bought it. anybody can do that”.

I am now blogging from Semarang, city of Lumpia. Have been here since Sunday, and I’ll be here for around two weeks. Work related, that’s prolly why I should be getting back to work now because the dude sitting in front of me, across the hallway, has been giving me those “werk, peasant, werk!” eye.

Before I go back to reality, where analysis on foreign trade awaits, let’s journey back to time where I dislike things a lot. Wait, that’ll just be what Americans refer to as “present”. I find this city quite..pleasant. I haven’t found anything to dislike, so far. I even liked the church here! or the sentence should be: I even went to church here. It was an old church, which would be a lovely photo-object, and I like the ambience there as well.  and the music, wow, the music is enchanting. it sounds like Disney’s in a way that it makes me want to get up and use those dancing-legs of mine. clearly I wasn’t talking about myself.

The food here is not that challenging in price also. Wait, that would be an understatement, the food here is CHEAP. I had Soto Ayam for lunch, and it only cost me 3000 rupiahs, which is like $ 33 cents! I took a cab from the mall back to my hotel, it started at 4.500 rupiahs and stoped at friggin 4.750 rupiahs when we’ve reached the hotel! how can you not love Indonesia, Internet?

But somehow, I feel like the nights here goes by so slowly, even when I’m asleep! it’s like Einstein’s theory of relativity doesn’t apply shit here after 8 pm. I say 8 pm because I was in the office until 8 pm the other night, it didn’t feel that long oddly, I know, I myself am pretty amazed that I have somehow lost the acute awareness I usually have towards all the misery surrounding me.

The nights here goes by too slowly that I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling like I’m already late for work, only to find that it was only 1 am. so I went back to sleep and woke up feeling very fresh…at 3 am. That time I almost shrieked at my cellphone that displayed 3 am like it was mocking me. But then I realized I’d rather use the energy to struggle myself back to sleep again.

And now I feel the need to struggle to stay awake.

But I should get back to preparing next week’s presentation, so yawn yawn, blog to your later.

PS. I think Boyfran & I should spend some quality time together, distant form other interest. This whole LDR and being a grown up drama is boring. shit, it’s making ME boring.

and there’s a sound effect to that, that goes like “week week week”.

and it’s frustrating ;p (week week week)

Click here to stop wondering.

the last time I tried to explain how I felt (hint: through a drawing), the one person I was aiming the yellow crayons at - didn’t get it. or- was pretending not to get it, forcing me to actually use words to explain things *stares meaningfully*. but since I feel like typing long and (potentiallly - from his side, that is) pointless paragraphs, (and because I had just watched an episode of House), I’m putting this on the internet so if anyone ever googles the word “HOUSE” because they don’t know what four walls, a few doors and windows would form, a rather mushy topic might be presented on their screen, stealing their interest. or not. depends on their beliefs on Love and God - you know, emos *rolling eyes* (*pointing to self*)

our relationship is like an addiction. it’s like vindaloo curry. really, eally hot indian curry they make with red chili peppers. you’re abrasive and annoying, and you come on way too strong, like vindaloo curry. and when you’re crazy about curry, that’s fine. but no matter how much you love curry, if you have too much of it, it takes the roof of your mouth off. and then you never want to see curry for a really, really long time. but you wake up one day, and you think, “God, I really miss curry”. you’re a jerk.

And in Indonesian it means; gw sayang lo, brengsek.

When I’m annoying and asking for a slap, I wasn’t being myself. But whoever that person is, is really sorry. Please forgive them. Selamat Hari Raya Idul Fitri, dear Internet Friends! Wishing you a great celebration with your loved ones =)

I hate bounty.

Chocolate bars should never, I repeat to make it more dramatic - NEVER meet with coconuts. It shouldn’t even be anywhere near the neighborhood of coconuts! Just because peanut butter goes well with strawberry jam, DOESN’T MEAN THAT IT IS OK TO APPLY THE SAME THEORY TOWARDS CHOCOLATE AND COCONUTS.

However, I do think that Nasi Uduk and Sayur Lodeh (no, I’m not going to link an address to the recipe as I strongly believe a country might then claim it as theirs) - foods with santan a.k.a Coconut Milk (I know, the term sounds funny, it makes me feel like a Malaysian) are a brilliant achievement of the Human Race!

But I strongly recommend you not eating those two at the same time, because it may create an unpleasant biological urge to…throw up, or in French words; Eneq.

and no, I don’t care if some might think low of me for being shallow; hating a certain country and writing about it on the internet. I am free from all prejudice -as I hate everything equally. Keep in mind that I am this emo-sobbing overtly dramatic woe-driven annoying little brat, so it is only normal if I think that the whole universe is worth disliking, as I have lowered my expectations to the point where it has already been met.

I read something on the internet a few days ago.. I expelled air from my lungs so many times (and rolled my eyes) reading it - as I am allergic to hypocrisy. I felt a very strong urge to further comment, but since I’m 23, I’ll refrain. *nods wisely*

Note to the horror; this is my blog, I can say whatever -heck, I’m paying for this! You’re just jealous because the voices speak to me. *nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm* ;p

Back to coconuts. Young coconuts make good drinks. They are refreshing, when served cold. And well, it taste weird when warm. Kind of like guys, you know. The cold ones seems like they are like so cool like oh my gawd! Like I want to like make them all warm and fuzzy, uh-huh! *SLAP*

In my younger years *blinks and nods wisely*, I have actually dumped a guy using the famous line that goes, “you are too nice for me”. And I actually mean it.

Sharing Wisdom; Young coconuts - are not to be consumed warm.

As for Old Coconuts, they make delicious food. And it is better to consume them while they are still warm, although I really don’t mind eating a cold - no I take it back. I do mind. If it’s cold, I would most likely try to change it, making it warmer using a microwave or whatever it takes. Phew, thank god we’re talking about food that contains coconut milk. If we were talking about the male part of the human race, asking them to change is like asking a dog to stop chasing its tail or licking its genitals.

Sharing Wisdom; Old Coconuts - are best consumed warm.

Conclusion: Gregory House rocks my socks! I know, after Robert Downey Jr and Jeffery Dean Morgan, having Doctor House the next TV-boyfriend of mine is rather less-shocking. I do seem to have the hots for older guys, and although dearest boyfran is not what I would call old, he’s a really lovely man and my gawd do I miss him! (I haven’t spoken to him in TWO FRIGGIN EMO-WHININGG DAYS because he is currently in some remote village in the mountains, with very poor cellphone reception *sobs*).

Ah, and another important point; Chocolate and Coconuts should just give up any romantic idea they have.

Whatever people say about driving in Jakarta, night-driving here is therapy! *stares meaningfully*

Listening to annoying strangers rambling on the radio, almost hitting things due to the temporary-blindness caused by hazard lights from the cars that passes you by, having to immediately hit the break on random moments, all of that plus the idea of waking up to a boring day tomorrow, surprisingly could make my day. I took a sick leave for two days, due to sickness, offcourse, you really don’t need to raise an eyebrow, and unfortunately I am now feeling better, thus I shall bring my lazy ass back to work tomorrow.

For whatever reason, eKa stated that she -ironically- has the HOTS to work where I am currently working. Don’t get me wrong. I like my work, it fascinates me; I could spend hours just staring at it! In some odd and fishy way, knowing that someone as dark (lol) actually wants to hang around in this hell with fluorescent lighting, makes me smile. I’m smiling, the human race should be scared.

I have been quite depressed lately. heck, it’s beginning to become my normal state. and just by driving alone tonight, listening to shit that didn’t even made the corner of my lips twitch, I found some peace of mind. True, one should feel frighten to seek for peace in Jakarta’s traffic. But somehow, I could feel a delightful ambiance from behind the wheels, on the roads of Jakarta.

“Could’ve been a night like any other; one of us has to drive, one of us gets to think”. Always be - Jimmy Eat World.

* It was played on the radio tonight, just as I was about to get out of the car. I remember someone quoting this song when we were driving one night. If you’re reading this, I miss the friend I had in you. I’d force a laugh to break the silence, but I don’t think we laugh at the same things anymore.

I enjoy making my “sharing wisdom” series because it’s easier than to actually write a whole paragraph about something. I like writing. but my writings usually suck. I’m still looking forward to the time where a word I use in a writing could send a reader to the dictionary.

My wisdom-sharing series is a whole lot easier to write, because I get to keep those random thoughts totally random; I put them down in points where they don’t have to connect from one number to the other. I don’t have to make a paragraph out of it, and I don’t have to make sense at all. that’s the thing I love most about the internet; you don’t have to make sense.

where I work, hell with fluorescent lighting, forces me to make sense. Thou shalt not do what thy have no passion for. note for the fresh-grads: remember that the next time you whine about unemployment! at my work place, I have to make sense, even when they don’t! It was much much easier when Andro was around. I get to meet up with him everyday, I’d rush to the place we agreed to meet right after work, sometimes he picks me up when the traffic isn’t moral-killing (makes you swear a lot-red), and whatever shit that was going on in the work place, suddenly doesn’t matter. I know what I had just lay down in words might cause constipation or the taste of puke in your throat, but it really doesn’t matter. With him, I feel like make sense. (yeah we fight a lot, but hey, argue hard love hard, right?)

It’s really cruel of you to leave me here. you know I hate crowds. god I miss you.

I cried today. Partly because of work. mostly because of the people at work. My boyfriend thinks I worry too much of what others think -which is silly, because it seems like they don’t do it very often.

Another thing I like about making those widsom-sharing series is that I can grab other people’s experience and make them my own! MWAHA!

True you can learn from your mistakes. But it is also true that you can learn from others. Besides, to quote Chuck Palahniuk, “Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I’ve ever known.”

*thank you to Shenny, for reminding me how nice it feels to, quote, “peek on a glimpse of someone’s life”. looking forward to hear your stories. all of you. happy reading!

love, peace, and gaul. *SLAP*

1. “If I had an electronice chainsaw, I’d grab it” was Sharing Wisdom #6
2. Hate something bad enough that it’ll influence your decisions. The Grand Theory of FINDING OUT is for masochists.
3. Real man don’t use too many emoticons in one text message =P I find that to be true ^^ as it has been proven >,< I’m sorry if this hits a button T.T you get what I mean, right? ~,^’
4. Lecturers don’t like it if you change the time displayed on the classroom’s clock to make class end earlier.
5. Sane people would tell you to eat when you’re hungry. Only those who are insane who would tell you to dance when you’re thirsty or wash your face when you’re sleepy.
6. Regret something bad enough to get your misery published.
7. Say FUCK YOU! and really mean it. It will make your day!
8. You have a reason to scratch out your eyeballs or puke in your mouth then swallow it again if you see a facebook status that goes like “I love Monday like Garfield loves lasagna” or “Semangat Pagi!”.
9. Just because you’re an inconsiderate asswipe doesn’t mean you have the right to play lame-ass emo-disco like you live in your own tree house in the depth of the jungle.
10. People surprise you. Stay away from the good ones.
11. You should never be in the same car with someone who tells a story about how they cried their insides out seeing kids live in the street, while retouching her make up.
12. Aura Kasih can’t sing.
13. The girls that complains about the length of your skirt will buy the same skirt next month.
14. Not eating McDonalds for 3 months doesn’t save a tree; stereo foam aren’t made out of trees. Be smart, Hippies.
15. Go watch cin(t)a.
16. Girls who fight a lot with their boyfriends are actually dating the right guy. just with the wrong personality.
17. Aura Kasih can’t sing.
18. Laugh a lot. It works wonders.