When you feel I’m being this pain in the ass slash psychotic bitch slash %$&@?!, I want you to know that I wasn’t being myself. But whoever that person is -is sorry. Please forgive them. And for those who celebrates it:
“HAPPY IDUL FITRI”
Have a great one, everyone!
It’s been quite long since the last time I blogged. YAY me I have a life to live! Pffft~ yea rite… being delusional is fun.
That was what you wanted to hear, right? so that you don’t feel alone haha… sorry to disappoint you, but I actually was pretty occupied. And by that I mean: watching DVDs (or downloaded TV series) with my girlfriends and ordering food in.
Anyways,, living in a third world country disadvantages you in ways that often makes you go W.T.F. Yes, I am talking about KONEKSI INTERNET YANG SELELET SIPUT TUA YANG SEKARAT PADAHAL COST-NYA SEMAHAL-MAHAL HARGA PAKAIAN DI SEBUAH TOKO DI SENSI (I can’t say the name of the store because they’ll sue me. Yeah Jo, like anyone’s reading your blog. oh wait! There’s an idea right there *evil smug*)
…lanjut… YANG SEHARUSNYA ENGGAK MAHAL SAMA SEKALI MENGINGAT IDE AWALNYA ADALAH MENJUAL KNOCK-OFF PAKAIAN DESIGNER SUPAYA PARA FASHION SKANKS TETEP BISA GAYA ON A LOW BUDGET. Do you see the irony? or should I use a bigger font size and up load a picture of me screaming my forehead off, that a friend of mine took yesterday while I was watching a STOOPID reality show. (Gawd I’m filled with rage! I mean, W.T.F 2 million rupiahs for a plain black tank top?? don’t ask me about the reality show)
So my dad decided to subscribe “sebuah layanan akses internet end-to-end berkecepatan tinggi” yang merupakan produk dari sebuah perusahaan ternama di Indonesia yang bergerak di bidang telekomunikasi.
Berkecepatan tinggi MY ASS! Say it with me, you know you want to. Since the BIMBOS in their marketing team launched paket gratis di jam-jam tertentu,, those WHO ACTUALLY PAY harus berakting ala pemeran utama sinetron religi dengan pasrah aja kalo koneksi internetnya menjadi LAMBAT bahkan NON-EXISTENT di jam-jam gratisan itu. ASS WIPE.
And just when you’re already down, life gives you another kick. So I was on line with a friend on ym (THANK GAWD I FINALLY CAN AFTER THE 1.290.346.986 ATTEMPT), and she gave me a link.
Before curiosity kills your cat, you need to know, that the time I clicked the link she gave me, the internet connectivity was fast LIKE IT ALWAYS SHOULD BE DO YOU HEAR ME MISTER SEBUAH LAYANAN AKSES INTERNET BERKECEPATAN TINGGI?
Bee Bee : *ini nih bagian ngga bagusnya koneksi internet cepat*
Miss Yoaniverse: TAI LO. Tapi udah? isinya gitu doang? tadi *spoiler*-nya gw klik2 tapi ngga ada apa2
Bee Bee : ahaha… reaksi gw pun sama kayak lo… and iseng abis lo pake lo klik segala *spoiler*-nya!
Things I have learned. I am really wise for my age *lol*
Image source: Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Comics.
Like the “Baby Boom!!” phenomenon in Hollywood, Indonesia these past few years have given birth to thousands and thousands of bloggers. This includes those that have writing skills (and actually have something to write about), and those that writes just to.. urmm how do you put it…’litter on line’.
Yes, because we all know (and thanks to gogirl! for bringing up the issue), nowadays, littering in real life is considered as social suicide. Toss a cigarette bud to the ground and you loose your secret admirer. Heck, once I even dumped a guy for throwing his empty coca-cola can to the gutter as he was walking me home.
The last sentence was a lie. I dumped him because he ‘walked’ me home, not ‘drove’ me home. Wakakakak~ Yes, I was kidding. I am not like that. (I hope). Ok fine, I dumped him because he drinks coca-cola. I am anti-capitalism! (Ok, that was also bullshit).
Proceed.
I categorize bloggers into two oh so very different categories; those who actually have a life to share, and those who don’t have a life. At all. Bloggers with a life are more promising in this whole blogging business, as they are capable of amusing internet junkies by writing about their interesting daily activities which later will lead to either book publishing or movie making. Or for some lucky bastards; both. *standing ovation dan melempari rokok*.
Those with no stories to tell will end up delivering dull information like,
“Tanaman Lidah Mertua atau Sanseviera mengandung 107 jenis racun, termasuk karbonmonoksida, nikotin, bahkan juga radiasi nuklir. Bentuknya panjang-panjang dan memiliki banyak duri. Lantas muncul pertanyaan, mengapa dinamakan Lidah Mertua?”.
(I am free from all lawsuits as the one who wrote that article was…me. But please do not try to google it because then you might get my friendster profile, and reading my blog would be less interesting have you seen the testimonials written by my retarded friends there).
A fellow blogger, Eka (click here. You know you want to), posted an interesting article about how one gains popularity through blogging. Knowing what she’s writing (unlike some people I know *points at self*), she explains what ‘microblogging’ is and made me go “aaah” and “oohh” and “hear hear!” while going through the article. And then something life changing happened! She made my day by helping me realize something huge, something my friends would describe as ‘Jo is just being delusional’; I HAVE A LIFE.
I find myself quite hard to commit to plurk or any sort of microblogging site that requires me to constantly give updates about my daily activities to even the smallest insignificant bits like, “I’m listening to Kangen – Rasty” or “I’m gonna take a shower now…” (because I feel very dirty after listening to Kangen – Rasty).
And just like that I knew; I have a life! I can’t be on line 24/7, and that has nothing to do with internet connectivity! It’s just me-having other stuff to do! Yay me!!
So thank you, Eka. Now I can live my life with my chins held up knowing that I do have a life after all, that I blog not because I have nothing else to do, (by gawd woman, I have a thesis to finish!), but because I feel like it! and it feels great to know you’re doing something by choice!
Conclusion: I have a life. But whether the life I’m leading is interesting enough to be shared or not, now, that is a totally different thing *sigh* Right now, I’m just happy enough to know I have a life.
So to anyone out there who feels like they don’t have a life and that they are constantly constipated by boredom and therefore are annoying their lovers, I tell you this: lower your standardization of being ‘occupied’! Because hear me you; blog-walking IS an activity. Hey, what you’re doing right now is time consuming, right? So, there! You are doing something! Therefore, you have a life! (I know I know my logics are going to hell).
Ahh just stop bitching about not having a life and be thankful you’re alive lagh!! I’m signing off to do other stuff. How.cool.is.that!
On 2006 I deleted my blog for no logical reason (read: nervous breakdown caused by a heart-breaking hair-cutting room-redecorating break up). I still have one at friendster (who doesn’t?), notes on facebook (being the 4N@k 9aWoL I am. not), and another one at blogsome (just because it rhymes with threesome), but they are both going to hell, so nevermind. (OH! and another one in multiply. See!! I’m everywhere!! –> which also shows I have commitment issues *sigh*).
So this year I’ve decided to -again- start writing on the Internet by creating this new blog with one sentimental explanation: I feel like it.
Caution: I am a very bad story teller slash writer slash blogger slash person. My poor skills on telling lies make my life here in Bandung seems pretty dull to you with glamorous lifestyle (read: expensive bad habits and expensive bad habits). Therefore, there’s no need to menyimak (what’s the proper English word for that?) my blog unless you have no social life or your sense of humor is beyond lame that you find me funny.
And now’s the part where I tell you about where I live. I’ve been living in Bandung for the past four years now. I’m actually from Jakarta, as in I was born there, but truth be told, I don’t know Jakarta THAT much. I’ve only lived there for about 6 years since the big guy whom I call dad, makes us move a lot. He’s not a drug smuggler though. I am pretty much sure.
I love it here in Bandung and am actually thinking of staying here permanently. But that was before I met this charming weirdo who gave a whole new meaning to the word “mushy”. Anyways, Bandung is most famous of its food. You can find ANY food you want here in a SWEET price. And Bandung is also THE place for male with media-taste of female. Almost all female teenagers in Bandung have very clean WHITE skin and they…all…look…alike. Somehow they all look like those chicks in “what the fuck with love?” movie (Ada Apa dengan Cinta?-red). Film yang inovatif! Terobosan jenius untuk benar-benar menyeragamkan seragam sekolah tanpa paksaan atau ancaman minus di buku tata tertib siswa. But on their college years, to survive, they developed a style different from their fellow teenagers: distro. And it’s not that I have anything against them… In fact, in a way, I n.v them for being such eye-candies.
Unlike Jakarta, Bandung at nights, are freezing cold! Well at least my part of Bandung is. And the traffic here is less crowded because they are all one ways. Repeated for more dramatic expression: ALL ONE WAYS. So, yes, everything you heard about Bandung is true. Especially the things about TRASH HEAP and MEN: They really are that bad.
But the people I call friends here are those kinds you want to kemut-kemut all day! ^^
Because I’m currently not feeling very well, I really don’t want to force my brain to think of the proper English for “lebih baik aku liat anu kamu belom di sunat daripada harus pipis di pispot” atau “rambutku belom keramas dari hari rabu sehingga baunya seperti minyak tanah”, this article will be written in Indonesian. So for those who don’t understand Indonesian, I am sorry you are not that cool.
Setelah 22 tahun menyombongkan ketangguhan diri -ngga pernah opname- akhirnya kesompralan mengetuk pintu di Rabu pagi. Being (cute and) terkapar, I spent my nights di Rumah Sakit Santo Borromeus, Bandung, reading Female, Esquire, Calvin & Hobbes, main FIFA07 atau Asphalt3 di hape, atau menciptakan dialog-dialog sendiri di dalam kepala (kasian yah?). Sore selalu rame. Banyak yang menjenguk sambil menyelundupkan makanan-makanan yang saya suka seperti Pocky Strawberry, Tiramisu, dan Martabak Keju Susu. Yang terakhir sebenernya bukan cemilan favorit saya (except the Keju bit. I mean, SIAPA YANG NGGA DOYAN KEJU SELAIN MBAK SUMI??). Martabak manis itu cemilan favoritnya Egan yang dia bawa untuk di makan sendiri. Egan, “eh Yo..pengen baca Kompas ngga? kayaknya sakit-sakit gitu enaknya baca Kompas dehh…”. Iya Gan, beli Kompas aja sana.
dan berhubung suhu tubuhku sempet mencapai 39,8,,, Atri berinisiatif menempelkan semua yang dingin-dingin ke badanku. Above is a picture of her menempelkan tutup gelas ke punggungku. Masih ada banyak foto tempel-menempel yang lain -di bagian tubuh lain opkros, yang kalau aku aplot disini semuanya…..my boyfriend will disown me. and I can’t afford that because no matter how menyebalkan he is sometimes, I love him enough not too voodoo him for the fact that he is THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY yang ngga memungkinkan dia nungguin aku di rumah sakit. But he calls every now and then so it’s ok. (see, Baby! it’s OK if you call every now and then! *stares meaningfully*) Anyways, here’s a picture of my survival kit…
Truth be told, at first I didn’t really want to tell my parents about me being hospitalized, but then I ’sort of’ have to because Egan was STARING at me, so yeah oh well.. And so I called my dad,, who didn’t only panicked about my condition,, but was ALSO CONCERNED with MY THESIS!! Nevertheless,, he’s the coolest dad!! (read: saya mendapat a ‘get well soon gift’ via Mandiri! bwahaha…) Dan my dear mother went, “tuh kan! makannya ngga teratur sih!”. Then told me to put Egan and the phone and continued, “Yoan tuh kalau makan ngga pernah teratur sih Gan! coba makannya di jaga! ngga bakal sampe sakit gitu kan..” MY GAWD WOMAN, this is my FIRST time being hopitalized and di infus yang rasanya kayak digigit kuda (thanks to boyfriend for the analogi), and my very first time using pispot (please try not to imagine me doing it. and I am pretty much sure I never used one when I was a kid, because…I believe in going along with nature; I pee anywhere), so IMAGINE HOW FRIGGIN WEIRD THAT FEELS TO ME! A-PIS-POT!. And there is no problem so awful that you can’t add some guilt to it and make it even worse! But after all the “salah sendiri makan ngga teratur” drama, she was pretty sweet. so I guess it’s ok. (see, mother! it’s OK if you’re being sweet!) Here’s another picture of my survival kit…
Left: Egan sukses ngebenerin kalung saya. Right: read bellow…
Egan: “hehe…yang dijenguk siapa…yang ngejenguk siapa…”
Yoan: “hehehe… yeah.. but I wouldn’t want to be in any other clique…”
I Love You Guys!! ^^
Thanks juga buat kalian yang sudah datang menjenguk atau menelfon atau mengesemes ^^ Kalian adalah bagian signifikan dari proses penyembuhan saya =)
Every thing seemed easier when we were kids. No offense to those who had it hard. And that first statement doesn’t mean I’m ungrateful for the things I have in my life now –it’s just me having a breakdown I guess. I’m currently feeling as blue as an indigo girl (??) So just be a good friend and nod your way to my heart.
You see, as we grow up, we learn that:
Sucks ass doesn’t it? The gasoline fact slaps pretty hard too, yes?
So I think I’ll go scratch “x-ray vision” and put in “self-multiply*” in my Christmas list under “superpowers” because no one is perfect under the sun. But I am sure that if I could multiply myself, I’d be the closest one. Or the closest ‘ones’.
I’d be able to help free Tibet at the same time I work on my thesis, get my tire problem fixed at the garage, drive two different friends to the hospital, and make poverty history.
I guess I’m one of those people who finds it really hard to master the art of “letting go”. The art of accepting that you can’t make everything perfect in a day; that Rome wasn’t build in a day; that it’s killing to wait –but there will always be a tomorrow; another chance to fix things; to make an improvement; to put an end to something that has been cramping you all night. oh come tomorrow!
tomorrow…tomorrow…I love you, tomorrow…! you’re always a day awaaaaay….
* self-multiply is the power Son Gokong has, says the comic junkie housemate, where he just needs to pull out one hair then blows it to create ‘another him’. We don’t know what the actual name for that power is, so I just call it “self-multiply” since the only thing in my head this past few months are either facebook, friendster, or multiply.
PS. Untuk kamu tahu, I sincerely hope that the things going wrong in your life will get better.
PPS. Untuk kamu, I could have done it better. I’m sorry I didn’t, but I’m willing to try harder next time.
.
Ad: Get well soon, Jo!
Jo: Yeahh thanks.. but I think I also need therapy for this illness…
At: Because it’s mentally…
Jo: Yea…… I mean,, I take advices from people like her *glaring at housemate*
At: Yea…
Jo: Yea…
and I wonder who might go gay for me…
*I am so freakishly delusional*
PS. click on her name to visit her official web site or the bit where she screams my name *grin* to watch “ur so gay” music video. how can you not love her? *mushy sigh*
MAKE THE MOST OF MY LAST YEAR OF COLLEGE!!
After all the assignments,, exams,, internships,, …
Lets be kids again!!
worth a laugh line: