absolutely trash.

1. No one sane would ever actually be jealous of three future hell ruler (that goes by the name Omen#1, Omen #2 and Damien) wearing butt-ugly tiger suits and dancing in a lame ass cage in a video clip that features Cinta Laura.
2. …whatever they write in their blog.
3. You know you’re a snob when you immediately burst out with laughter right next to the lady that had just asked the store owner, “ada blue jeans coklat?”
4. A girl can never own enough lingerie. The fact that they will only use them now and then is entirely beside the point.
5. When a girl sacrifices watching Hugh Jackman just to talk to you, she really likes you.
6. Just because they never comment, doesn’t mean they don’t read your blog.
7. Just because they don’t write in response, doesn’t mean they didn’t take it hard.
8. Don’t assume, just ask.
9. You can’t say your issue is bigger than someone else’s. You have no idea how much their personal struggle is affecting them emotionaly.
10. If you think you had enough of dating, girl, you’re doing it wrong.
11. Every girl, no matter how tomboy they dress or act, wants a pretty engagement ring.
12. Especially the ones that doesn’t dress or behaves tomboy.
13. You know you’ve been living in Jakarta for too long if you think that spending three hours to get to the mall on weekdays is acceptable. even, normal. and not debatable.
14. If your blind date uses the word “lucu” in telling what she thinks of the movie KALA, run like your life depends on it. If her favorite movie is TITANIC, go kill yourself.
15. Never ask your girlfriend who Aura Kasih is because ‘the guys’ think Aura Kasih is sexy. If you want her to think highly of ‘the guys’, ask for Adriana Lima instead.
16. If you’re a guy, in your 30s, please don’t call your friends with, “Boss”. It’s insanely unattractive.
17. If you’re a guy, in your 20s, never type MANTAP with a B. Or worse, with the number 4. M4nT4B
18. If you think you’re shallow for worshiping Jessica Simpson, go to Jalan Palmerah Selatan nomor 22-28 Jakarta Pusat and look for someone with the name DANIEL.
19. My friend asked me why girls have the tendency to love guys that treats them like crap. Allow me to let you in on a little secret: if you buy crap, you feel like crap. so start reading something other than cosmopolitan!
20. People with bad spellings are most likely to have been educated in America. Absolutaly!
21. People who corrects someone’s grammar in the middle of a conversation studies English in Indonesia.
22. Real man never blames the situation (or even the ‘perfect lighting’) for his actions.
23. They also don’t drink mineral water from a bottle with a straw.

image is mine, for more click here. and here for Sharing Wisdom #3. and here for more information about Dewi Perssik, because why not?

Dear All,

You may pee on the words that I bold. (I feel ’so not loved’ *sob sob* for even having to explain the bits where I’m being sarcastic).

I had a muchly fun sunday with my bestiepoo, and another bestfriend of mine,, and another potential bestfriend

I also had tea that tasted like crap. Not that I have tasted crap. Just that, if crap were to be eaten by anyone, gawd forbid, it’d prolly tasted like the tea I had for dinner today. Not that my dinner was just tea. Off course not.

I had just made myself look retarded, I know. Anyways, I second Andy Warhol! “Everyone should like everyone!” really. It has to be that way. it just has to. and if you don’t like a certain someone, then too bad. You’re not as cool as Andy Warhol. (??)

But if that person happens to be AD (you may think it’s Ahmad Dhani, but really, it isn’t. really), then it’s REALLY OK. really. it has to be that way, it just has to.

Because one of the requirements to be considered cool is to despise AD. And all his demonic offspring whom carries the name; Omen#1, Omen#2, and urmm, Damien. I hope Omen#1, Omen#2, and Damien would listen to their mother more so that they wont end up being a male chauvinist pig like AD, and they could just color their hair whore-red and wear a really classy tiger suit and dance in a really KEWL cage on video clips that features Cinta Laura, because that would just make me jealous.

Right now the word you are looking for is: ANYWAY,,,, I am dead happy of how today ended. so happy that I feel like telling you a tale, a fairy tale. gather round, gather round..

Once upon a time, lived a Princes with her fake plastic tree and her plastic green water can. The Princees loves Radiohead first album, Pablo Honey, but was ashamed to admit so. She told her friends she enjoyed ST 12 and Kangen Band instead. You know how far teenagers would go to get accepted. She was just fine until her cellphone rang. And I wonder who called, and I wonder why. What caused such an extreme mood change? urrmmmm maybe it’s the ceiling! yes,, it has to be the ceiling! it just has to! uh, or maybe the door-knob?? that has got to be it!! or maybe it’s the window?? or the dinning table?? or the grandfather clock?? or the tiger balm?? just the one. definitely the balm!

Random fact: I feel like drinking A&W’s root beer right now, and I have absolutely no idea why. Maybe because even in misery, I am lame.

off to beauty sleep now, because tomorrow is a big day! and you know it. That’s exactly why you escorted me to such a pleasant emotional state, right? you are like beyond awesome! you are my superman! woot woot!!

___

I think I have been loving you too much for our own good. Either it’s “I have been expecting too much from you” or “I have been thinking too highly of you”, I don’t know. I don’t want to know right now. I just want to feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel real loveee lalalaa (I don’t memorize the lyrics to Robbie Williams’ song much).

it’s Robbie Williams song, right? He is so full of crap. And I’m just saying this because I am high on anger sugar. I blame the teh tawar anget I had with dinner today.

Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn’t it.

It makes you so vulnerable.

It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up a whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…

You give them a piece of you.

They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ or ‘how very perceptive’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

(Neil Gaiman, “The Sandman“)

HOW ARE YOU? Here’s the “Hello again!” post I promised. But before, let me point out the three things I can tell about you if you’re reading this right now. One, you have way too much time. Since I haven’t activated those RSS thingys (due to lack of knowledge), it means that in order for you to know whether I have updated this stoopid blog, you need to pay frequent visits here. Two, you are awesome. And three, obviously you know how much of a dramaqueen I am; you know that I am most likely to unclose this site, whatever I might have said in previous posts. Unclose, yes, that is proper English.

So here’s some updates about me, because why not?

1. Unclose. Obviously my English is going to hell. Oh but that’s unpossible!
2. I finally went through all the ho-ha about graduating. You know, the ceremony, the ‘using the occasion to introduce my boyfriend to my parents’, the nearly 6 hours waiting for a friggin photo shot –if you live in Bandung and you know which studio in jalan banda that I’m talking about then you know what I mean.
3. My dad joined facebook. So I had to take out the link to this site that I put under my contact information. But I wasn’t smart enough to do it immediately. As far as I can remember (which can’t be very far), there were a three day gap from the time I accepted his friend request (prolly you’re wondering why I did that), until the time I took out the link. I should just stay THAT stupid so I can proof people that we can also evolve in reverse. Now, I’m not sure whether it is safe to tell you about…just about everything!
4. Having nothing to do is hands down the hardest thing to do! Because you never know when it’s finished…
5. Regarding to number 4, I need somebody to please hire me! I’m really well behaved in real life. *stares-meaningfully*
6. I have blown off some good opportunities to actually get hired because of this tendency to always be honest. It’s a curse. Sharing some wisdom: don’t be brutally honest in interviews. *nods wisely*
7. I have developed a new hobby which makes me one of the cool people now! (you know you’re shallow when you think that the only way for someone to look cool is if that person has a hobby. Any hobby).
8. click here if you’re wondering what I’m talking about. And click here if you want to kill some braincells. Or click here because why not try all three?
9. Someone sort of proposed to someone. Someone responded that ‘sort of proposal’ with a giggle, and please read the next number carefully…
10. Someone will (just) be turning 23 in May. May 5^th to be exact. You know where to send that person a birthday present. If you don’t, email me, I’ll let you know her address.
11. I love my boyfriend very much. So does my favorite little niece, Baby Kayla.
12. My boyfriend and daddy are buddies now, thanks to photograpy
13. I love my dad big time for #12! He’s world’s number one dad!!
14. I am secretly in love with Jakarta now, although I’d still prefer Bandung.
15. I’ve decided to pick Bali as the place to build my own house. Off course, the house with the connecting door to my bestiepoo’s house, Egan. Has been our deal since we were still young and stupid. Therefore, he would have to also build his dream house in Bali. Which I am sure wouldn’t be a problem considering the kind of house he told me he wants to live in when our asses turn greasy.
16. Egan goes along just fine with dearest boyfriend.
17. He is beyond awesome for that *high-five!*
18. My hair gained four pounds.
19. I have been doing quite a lot of travelling lately.
20. Glen Fredly’s performance at Java Jazz made him looked goooorjess in my classy eyes!
21. Jason Mraz was wearing a see thru t-shirt that made all the girls had an orgasmic experience. (he has a tattoo on his shoulder saying “rest area”. I know it’s GOMBAL, but still *grin*). I personally think that his performance wasn’t worth the traffic jam, though.
22. I am really sleepy. I’ll do this again later.

1. When we’re fucking exhausted, don’t ask us if we ever heard of the name of some slutty chef who happens to have humongous boobs. WE DON’T FUCKING CARE. Because all we care about at that specific moment is the fact that WHILE we were considering a foot amputation (AS WE ARE STILL SO FRIGGIN TIRED after attending a music festival for three days in a row where when you think about it we actually didn’t really need to walk as it was too crowded, we could just stand still and let our bodies get swept away and carried by the marching gigantic ants)…WHILE ALL THAT, our loved ones were thinking about some other girl’s mamae! (I can’t say boobs because I already did. And just did again, now twice already. And I HAAATE it when guys refer to it as SUSU/MILK *SLAP*, so I’m gonna just use the proper latin for it).
2. No, don’t deffend yourself.
3. When you mention someone’s name and we respond to it using the exact following sentence, “oh, that slut? what about her?”, drop the conversation. Don’t, I reapeat, DON’T add details about her oh so amazing achievement pour the champagne! That’s the least we want to hear after complaining about the pressure of job seeking.
4. When we say “it’s OK’”, it means “you are seriously asking me that??”. For some girls at least. (because for me, that would mean, “DU-UH??”). But when we say, “you don’t know my mother”, that means: you don’t know my mother.
5. When we say I miss you, unlike some species, we mean it. We don’t just say that to fill in gaps in conversations.
6. Eventually, we will come to love the fact that we have a blog you don’t regularly visit. So, don’t you ever change. You are awesome, you make me write!
7. Seriously, never use the word milk when what you actually mean is breast. *stares meaningfully* I haaaaate it when guys do that! Even starngers that conversations’ I accidentally overheard. It makes me feel sooo lame to even just take a glance at you! if ever my boyfriend does that, I would tottally break up with him and change my phone number! YA HEAR ME??

PS. Hello, everyone!! next: my “hello again” post. stay tunned. (who do I think I am?)