absolutely trash.

Dear Internet,

Long time no see. The blog, I meant. Offcourse I have been online. I have cyberpets on my facebook page, and I need to bitch-slap rivals that have been attacking me on sorority life. It only makes sense to go online so often.

oh, and I have been tweeting pretty much lately. not because the site fascinates me, and surely not because I have given into the mass -as I have had my own twitter account long before all the ho-ha, even before I have finished that constipating final paper I whined oh so much about last year. I tweet simply because I, now, can. to quote shitmydadsays, “no one gives a shit about what your cellphone can do. you didn’t invent it. you just bought it. anybody can do that”.

I am now blogging from Semarang, city of Lumpia. Have been here since Sunday, and I’ll be here for around two weeks. Work related, that’s prolly why I should be getting back to work now because the dude sitting in front of me, across the hallway, has been giving me those “werk, peasant, werk!” eye.

Before I go back to reality, where analysis on foreign trade awaits, let’s journey back to time where I dislike things a lot. Wait, that’ll just be what Americans refer to as “present”. I find this city quite..pleasant. I haven’t found anything to dislike, so far. I even liked the church here! or the sentence should be: I even went to church here. It was an old church, which would be a lovely photo-object, and I like the ambience there as well.  and the music, wow, the music is enchanting. it sounds like Disney’s in a way that it makes me want to get up and use those dancing-legs of mine. clearly I wasn’t talking about myself.

The food here is not that challenging in price also. Wait, that would be an understatement, the food here is CHEAP. I had Soto Ayam for lunch, and it only cost me 3000 rupiahs, which is like $ 33 cents! I took a cab from the mall back to my hotel, it started at 4.500 rupiahs and stoped at friggin 4.750 rupiahs when we’ve reached the hotel! how can you not love Indonesia, Internet?

But somehow, I feel like the nights here goes by so slowly, even when I’m asleep! it’s like Einstein’s theory of relativity doesn’t apply shit here after 8 pm. I say 8 pm because I was in the office until 8 pm the other night, it didn’t feel that long oddly, I know, I myself am pretty amazed that I have somehow lost the acute awareness I usually have towards all the misery surrounding me.

The nights here goes by too slowly that I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling like I’m already late for work, only to find that it was only 1 am. so I went back to sleep and woke up feeling very fresh…at 3 am. That time I almost shrieked at my cellphone that displayed 3 am like it was mocking me. But then I realized I’d rather use the energy to struggle myself back to sleep again.

And now I feel the need to struggle to stay awake.

But I should get back to preparing next week’s presentation, so yawn yawn, blog to your later.

PS. I think Boyfran & I should spend some quality time together, distant form other interest. This whole LDR and being a grown up drama is boring. shit, it’s making ME boring.

Click here to stop wondering.

the last time I tried to explain how I felt (hint: through a drawing), the one person I was aiming the yellow crayons at - didn’t get it. or- was pretending not to get it, forcing me to actually use words to explain things *stares meaningfully*. but since I feel like typing long and (potentiallly - from his side, that is) pointless paragraphs, (and because I had just watched an episode of House), I’m putting this on the internet so if anyone ever googles the word “HOUSE” because they don’t know what four walls, a few doors and windows would form, a rather mushy topic might be presented on their screen, stealing their interest. or not. depends on their beliefs on Love and God - you know, emos *rolling eyes* (*pointing to self*)

our relationship is like an addiction. it’s like vindaloo curry. really, eally hot indian curry they make with red chili peppers. you’re abrasive and annoying, and you come on way too strong, like vindaloo curry. and when you’re crazy about curry, that’s fine. but no matter how much you love curry, if you have too much of it, it takes the roof of your mouth off. and then you never want to see curry for a really, really long time. but you wake up one day, and you think, “God, I really miss curry”. you’re a jerk.

And in Indonesian it means; gw sayang lo, brengsek.

I hate bounty.

Chocolate bars should never, I repeat to make it more dramatic - NEVER meet with coconuts. It shouldn’t even be anywhere near the neighborhood of coconuts! Just because peanut butter goes well with strawberry jam, DOESN’T MEAN THAT IT IS OK TO APPLY THE SAME THEORY TOWARDS CHOCOLATE AND COCONUTS.

However, I do think that Nasi Uduk and Sayur Lodeh (no, I’m not going to link an address to the recipe as I strongly believe a country might then claim it as theirs) - foods with santan a.k.a Coconut Milk (I know, the term sounds funny, it makes me feel like a Malaysian) are a brilliant achievement of the Human Race!

But I strongly recommend you not eating those two at the same time, because it may create an unpleasant biological urge to…throw up, or in French words; Eneq.

and no, I don’t care if some might think low of me for being shallow; hating a certain country and writing about it on the internet. I am free from all prejudice -as I hate everything equally. Keep in mind that I am this emo-sobbing overtly dramatic woe-driven annoying little brat, so it is only normal if I think that the whole universe is worth disliking, as I have lowered my expectations to the point where it has already been met.

I read something on the internet a few days ago.. I expelled air from my lungs so many times (and rolled my eyes) reading it - as I am allergic to hypocrisy. I felt a very strong urge to further comment, but since I’m 23, I’ll refrain. *nods wisely*

Note to the horror; this is my blog, I can say whatever -heck, I’m paying for this! You’re just jealous because the voices speak to me. *nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm* ;p

Back to coconuts. Young coconuts make good drinks. They are refreshing, when served cold. And well, it taste weird when warm. Kind of like guys, you know. The cold ones seems like they are like so cool like oh my gawd! Like I want to like make them all warm and fuzzy, uh-huh! *SLAP*

In my younger years *blinks and nods wisely*, I have actually dumped a guy using the famous line that goes, “you are too nice for me”. And I actually mean it.

Sharing Wisdom; Young coconuts - are not to be consumed warm.

As for Old Coconuts, they make delicious food. And it is better to consume them while they are still warm, although I really don’t mind eating a cold - no I take it back. I do mind. If it’s cold, I would most likely try to change it, making it warmer using a microwave or whatever it takes. Phew, thank god we’re talking about food that contains coconut milk. If we were talking about the male part of the human race, asking them to change is like asking a dog to stop chasing its tail or licking its genitals.

Sharing Wisdom; Old Coconuts - are best consumed warm.

Conclusion: Gregory House rocks my socks! I know, after Robert Downey Jr and Jeffery Dean Morgan, having Doctor House the next TV-boyfriend of mine is rather less-shocking. I do seem to have the hots for older guys, and although dearest boyfran is not what I would call old, he’s a really lovely man and my gawd do I miss him! (I haven’t spoken to him in TWO FRIGGIN EMO-WHININGG DAYS because he is currently in some remote village in the mountains, with very poor cellphone reception *sobs*).

Ah, and another important point; Chocolate and Coconuts should just give up any romantic idea they have.

1. Have never been a fan of Marshanda, but I honestly feel that it’s cruel for people to mock her like that. first of all, we have no idea of what she’s going through. but I bet she’s already going through hell, so why make it harder for her? second of all, after watching a couple of her videos on youtube,  I thought to myself; she loved him hard yaa.. we don’t get to see much of that kind of love nowadays, huh?
2. After not writing for so long, I’m signing in again to tell you how I feel for Marshanda, and that I am now employed, and my job is sucking the perkiness out of me. I even stopped being delusional. and that last bit pisses me off the most.
3. you either want to do it-or not. if you have even the tiniest doubt, or if you ask even just to one person whether you should do it or not, then don’t do it. “but what if” wont sound as sad as “what might have been”.
4. there are no rules about what you should or should not do because life plays tricks on you anyways.
5. so really, don’t be nice because you think have to. be nice because your morals were kicking in that exact moment. because your impulses tells you to. because you want to do it that very moment.
6. often when you thought it was gonna be hell, it turned out to be pretty ok. and when you thought it would be just fine…
7. so do whatever you feel like doing or saying or whatever whenever. even if it turns out ugly, at least that was what you wanted to do at that exact moment.
8. hold on as long as you can to that one title unemployed fresh-grads hate the most. seriously, if you’re gonna waste your youth on something that you’re not sure as hell about from the beginning, at least makes sure it’s something you have passion for. content is bahagia. not senang.
9. I am not talking about me.
10. Now I am. First, my boyfriend thought this blog has been terminated because I didn’t pay the domain or hosting or whatever bills.
11. I intend to keep it that way so shush!
12. I had just got back from Jogja with him, where I met the WHOLE army.
13. I cried on our flight back to jakarta, he didn’t notice, I was staring out the window and I guess he was asleep.
14. He has the warmest family in the world. It’s really easy to fall in love with them.
15. Sadly, at the same time, I kind of think I’m falling out of love with him.
16. I really want to be a part of the family, but I can see myself getting tired of him in the future.
17. we giggle over stupid things all the time, when the weather is right.
18. but when the heat is too high outside - you know how burning hot jogja is - …
19. I love that he wears jeans with the perfect length. Real men don’t wear multitask jeans that covers up your shoes as it sweeps the floor. I love that he doesn’t wear pink. and I love that he kisses me in front of his family.
20. Maybe I have issues with intimacy. after all, I am known to always get out before I even get in. Maybe it’s him. Maybe he can’t condition me to be open to him or whatever I have no idea.
21. but who ever made up the rules that we ought to know the right thing to do anyway?
22. He’s the longest serious relationship I have ever had, yet, I don’t feel like holding on to it just as much as I felt when we were still just at the beginning.
23. If we break up, I sure hope I get to be the one that’s truly happy first.
24. I don’t wish for us to break up.
25. but life plays tricks on you, right?

signing off,

little miss emo. lol.

First, take a big step back… and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! I don’t know what kind of pan-pacific bullshit power play you’re trying to pull here, but Asia Jack is my territory. So whatever you’re thinking, you’d better think again! Otherwise I’m gonna have to head down there and I will rain down in a Godly fucking firestorm upon you! You’re gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I’m talking about a scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP!

if you saw how I laughed the first time I heard that line, you’d laugh at my complete lack of grace!

if not terrified.

Thanks to:

1. Globalization.

“Globalization describes the the growth in international exchange and interdependence”, see: Jan Art Scholte. (2004). Globalization: A Critical Introduction. New York: St. Martin’s Press. Page 46-50

So yeah, I bet “cross-border relations” will continue to increase. I think there even will be a time where what Colson mentioned with “LAT (Living Apart Together) Marriage” sounds like the only kind of relationship that makes sense.

2. Airlines that offer “No Fuel Surcharge” rates.

What is “No Fuel Surcharge”? “No Fuel Surcharge” is introduced for all seats on XXX to relieve guests from paying the fuel surcharge fee. This means you now no longer have to pay any fuel surcharge when buying XXX seats.

hmm…

Apa yang dimaksud dengan harga “ Tanpa Fuel Surcharge “? Yang di maksud harga “Tanpa Fuel Surcharge” adalah untuk semua kursi di XXX para tamu akan di bebaskan untuk tidak membayar fuel surcharge. Ini berarti Anda kini tak perlu lagi membayar biaya fuel surcharge ketika membeli tiket kursi XXX.

So, yeah, they are basically giving definition to the word “NO/TANPA”. (this is like the main reason I went blogging about this subject.)

3. Cheap long distance phone call rates.

“Nelpon ke Singapura lebih murah daripada nelpon ke Singaparna!”, which means: making a call to Singapore is cheaper than making a call to Singaparna, a small city within the country. (I’m not sure whether it’s a small city or a village, I’m geographically-challenged).

4. Advance technology, such as 3G cellular phones, web cams, and, urm, shinny sex toys?

5. Skype, YM, MSN, Facebook, Multiply, Friendster, you name it.

*going back to work now, will continue later. if I don’t write some more in a week,, wait longer. haha*

ah, uh, and by the way, (and because it amuses me in a creepy way), I googled “dramaqueeningrum” (don’t look at me like that), and here’s the first result:

absolutely trash. | (pretend it’s not) a corny site. - [ Terjemahkan laman ini ] Add new tag annoying asinan bogor beauty queen blonde moment brainless bruises children comfort zone constipating dramaqueeningrum free Friend of The Month …

“An annoying “asinan bogor” beauty queen (that has frequent) blonde moment(s) (and is also that) brainless (to enjoy giving) bruises (to) children (outside her) comfort zone (as a) constipating dramaqueen. (She gives out) free “friend of the month”(s) …”

Yeah, I know. That wasn’t even remotely funny. Ah well. I am easily amused these past few days. (ssshh! I’d like to think I’m enjoying the moment).

And the way google decribed her, that dramaqueeningrum sounds like a hell of a catch!

you make me go “pffft~!!”. shoot me already.

.

The Man Upstairs wanted us to be happy. That’s why he created weed, junk food, and internet porn. (and Dewi Persik - because she’s just so entertaining!! woot! woot! And, well, she actually makes me feel better about myself…)

So go with french fries if you want a life time supply of loving from me, with a bonus of daily butt/boobs/younameit gropes from the kinky housemate of mine.

For those who’d rather have a yacht with their cheeseburger,, go join MLM! (Multi Level Marketing.ed) Because with MLM, it’s not just about getting a yacht… it’s about getting your very own PRIVATE yacht! a yacht so exclusive you cruise with style! Because why cruise with human beings when you can cruise with style? *blonde moment*

I mean, even the hands-down-TV-Superstar Joey Tribbiani doesn’t share food,, so why should you share a yacht? That would be as pointless as a zebracross, right?

Yes, you’re thinking what I’m thinking: Why invite those who slams their door right on your face and deliberately rejects your phone calls and never return your emails, right? those who pretend to not see you on the hallway, and immediately turn invisible on the messenger as soon as you buzzed, super right?

So go sail that yacht BY YOURSELF BECAUSE I COULDN’T CARE LESS, YOU ANNOYING MLM FLEA YOU! yeah, that’s how we see you, alright… like fleas; banyak dan menggganggu! di ulangi untuk efek dramatis- MENGGANGGU!

So the next time you ring my door bell, send me spam mails, terror my cellphone, or do all three at once… here’s what I have in mind:

Op.1

MLM (iamsofrigginannoyingitevenannoysdewipersik) wait, that’s too long.

MLM (RESE!): *rings bell* *rings bell ANNOYINGLY!*

Yoanita (I’m not changing my nick because my name is already pretty): *evil smug*

RESE!: Hey have you given enough thought on the partnership I offered you for the very special project I told you about yesterday? It’s really different from others, you see, you don’t have to do anything at all and in a month you’ll have enough money to buy an island in Dubai! All you have to do is find 2.324.567.098 friends to join! I know you’re wondering how could I afford this Prada Bag, right? I got it after joining this very-different-from-the-others business for only 2 days, 3 hours and 42 cents! (??) I’ll tell you all about it inside, c’mon..

Already Pretty: Have you ever played a game called Galaksin? No? Well, it goes like this: you try your ass off to pass my guard so you could get to the other side… kinda like what you’re doing now, you see… and I, well, I make sure that IT WONT EVER HAPPEN, YOU RETARDED MLM RETARD YOU!!

Op.2

Ask parents to play along…

RESE!: So have you thought about my offer? and hey,  urrmm,, what’s up with your mom there?

Already pretty”s mom: *shivering then growling then swinging back and forth, repeatedly while blankly stares at garden* (to make it more dramatic, play STING’s “Dessert Rose” as back sound).

Already pretty: Oh.. yeah.. it was because of an MLM she used to be all obsessive compulsive on.. turns out that MLM’s are all works of the devil so those who follow will never met Heaven’s door.. she got depressed because of that fact, then yeah as you can see for yourself…

Op.3

RESE!: Hi Yoan!

Already Pretty: Yoan’s in Bandung.

RESE!: hahaha… you should consider being a stand-up comedian for a living, you know.. *laughs ANNOYINGLY WHILE CLAPS HAND AND STOMPS FEET* (I know.. what sane person would do that, right?)

Already Pretty: And you should consider checking up your mental health because you’re delusional, I’m not Yoan.

RESE!: hahaha… you aaaaaar, silly!

Already Pretty: You may think I am, but I’m really not. Really.

RESE!: is it April Fools already? or am I on “MTV Boiling Points” or something? where’s the camera? You’re Yoan! She’s Yoan, folks! She can’t fool me… oh no you can’t, sweetie pie…

Already Pretty: You know, SWEETIE PIE, instead of a box of chocolate, I wish Life was just like Facebook, where I can DELETE YOU FROM MY FRIENDS LIST ANYTIME I WANT WITHOUT YOU BEING SEVERELY STUPID ABOUT IT YOU ASSWIPE GO AWAY YOU ARE KILLING MY BRAIN CELLS AND I AM JUST ONE STEP CLOSER TO SLAPPING YOUR INSIDES OUT! There. It’s really not Yoan, SEE?

Image Source: French Fries, Cheeseburger, Yacht.

mmmh??

I saw this banner at Carrefour.

“Coloury Life Inspiration”

can anyone tell me what that line is supposed to mean? I’m totally lost here..

is ‘coloury’ even a word? is it like a funny word, like “I get all bujigidy when I’m near him”? or baby talk, like “I waff yaw muchly“!?

Newsflash! A friend just texted me asking, “Jo! is Tibet free yet? If yes, what from?”

What does she think I am?? an International-Relations student?? O_0′ wait. I am. in the last year, to be exact.

As been taught to answer things ambiguously and speak in a certain manner, my reply would be “My fellow friend, I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer”.

So,, anyone?