this “dear diary” will bore you.

yoan (admin)

Everytime I start with “not much has happen” whenever I finally write again after a few weeks absence, the post always end up being too long. This time, I’ll open with “plenty” so you’d get head ups on how much this post will bore you.

Plenty has happened. I lost the remote control so I couldn’t immediately change the channel when titi kamal’s single hit was playing on TV. I hate her for making me go to bed at night wondering how she could ever claim such song as a hit.

What else… what else… I swore I had so much in mind that I wanted to share here, but then a friend called talking about her day at WERK and it totally jammed whatever system I have in my brain that controls the balance to stay sane. I feel very much envious of her just for having a job, even when it’s something I honestly wouldn’t take.

And that’s exactly what my problem is; I am too much of a hopeless romantic that I extremely believe that one should only work at the place one’s most passionate about. I sincerely don’t mean to brag about it, but I have turned down two offers from two well-known companies, one of which even has a very good reputation world wide, mainly because I am still very much hoping for an opportunity I know thousands even millions job-seekers are dreaming about. The other reason is the ridiculous amount of money I am obligated to pay if I resign from the company before a certain period of time. And by ridiculous, I mean RIDICULOUS. I could buy myself a villa in Ubud Bali with all those zeros!

And I am beginning to think that it’s a mistake; to turn down the offers, and to share the story on the internet, making it look like I am trying to emphasize on how much of a snob (and a retarded kind of it) I am. So the next time a door opens, I will enter it in a heartbeat! And if ever that dream-opportunity later on presents itself, I’d just… kill myself. In a heartbeat.

A few weeks ago were my birthday. I am usually very excited about birthdays, especially if they are my owns. But this year’s birthday presented its evil self with an achievement-panic attack. I started to get attacks from series of deep-thoughts.

And trust me you, no good comes out of over-thinking things. That’s why I find it easier to be an emo and just whine and sob about it than actually thinking of a way to kick out the misery. It’s also easier when people take you as a perky naïve blond. That way, whenever a crisis occurs, you could just step out side and go staring on shinny things that blinks like stupid, and people would just let you.

It’s also easier to have a blog. Whenever you feel like breaking someone’s heart, you could just post a good bye note on the internet! You could also make it look like you’re the little cute piggy that the big bad wolf has been picking on. Even so, the big bad wolf sincerely hopes the piggy doesn’t catch swine flu.

I don’t trash people on the internet. (Ahmad Dhani doesn’t count). I have a blog because it saves trees.

Moving along to a warmer subject, Andro sent me two gigantic cakes (see pictures of it on my flickr page) for my birthday, and also for our anniversary *big grin*. Unfortunately, both of the cake made my fridge go down because apparently they used too much of space that it actually blocked the circulation blab la bla have no idea what the repairman was talking about. And because one of them is an ice cream cake and the other one is sort of like crème brule, only with liquor in it (for real), it can’t be kept too long in open air so I cut them to big pieces and gave them away to be the neighbor’s problem. But I LOVE the surprise! It shows how he wants to stick around, even when we’re thousands of miles apart.

My poop excuse for a bestfriend, Egan, also orchestrated a surprise party at Priska’s house. We spent the night eating cake and having this lovely conversation about –be prepared, hold on to something– WERK. lol. It seems that we just can’t escape that topic even if we try our asses off. And in between the oh so lovely conversation, we did have some pretty good laughs. So thanks guys! And I also thank Dwika’s cruelness in turning my emo-raging moment into a birthday present. Lol.

My awesome dad bought me new lens, and I didn’t even ask for it and it wasn’t my birthday that day. I have been experimenting with it a little, while waiting for my parent’s plane to land, as I arrived two hours too early at the airport to pick them up. I was too worried about being trapped in a killing traffic jam (you know how Jakarta could kick the saint of you, and I was planning on being a good girl this year so Santa would actually be nice), so I thought leaving two and a half hours early would be smart thing to do.

Ah I’ll continue this later, if not ever.. Off to sleep now.

PS. My boyfriend’s a true geek and he doesn’t even know. He has been talking for hours about NASA; naming the astronauts –even the one that didn’t get to set foot on the moon because his job description was only to maintain communication with earth from inside the spaceship (I’d get grumpy if I were him), also about how they took off and came back using different methods, and he actually explained why! It reminded me of that time we were about to land at Jakarta and he managed to explain to me the exact procedure an aircraft must go through when it’s about to land. Not to mention his knowledge of the history of Java, (he can name all the tokoh perwayangan!), also names of mountains and all sorts of expeditions the human kind has been doing since ages ago –in details; what they found there, the names of the people that did the expedition what did they do once they reached the top, etc. Talk about all that reading and countless numbers of winning eleven matches…. I love that geek of mine! =)

PPS. I strongly suspect the dog carried the remote control out of my room. She has been acting weird around me lately, chasing her tail and all. You know how guilt can make you do stupid things just to make you appear so occupied that you just don’t notice there was anyone else walking into the room. That bitch. 

Law of Attraction #2

yoan (admin)

I’ve known this quote since sometime in junior high I guess, but a friend of mine hadjust recently shouted it on facebook and I thought, perfect! this is the just perfect sentence to describe the exact emotion I am feeling towards this one specific issue. Some of you might find this beyond cheesy, but ah well, I really feel that I can relate to this cheesiness…

I want to work there more than an electron wants to be attached to a proton!

So help me God.

I could say something cute like,

yoan (admin)

“Christmas is canceled and it’s all your fault! I told Santa you’ve been good all year.. he died laughing”.

But that would be annoying, considering my age. And considering there are some of you that might have already read that line in a hallmark card before. But then again, originality is remembering what you heard but forgetting where you heard it from, right? haha. Neways,, forget my attempt of being funny, and let me put down a line which I forgot where I got it from…

“Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas now…”.

for those who celebrates, I wish you a joyful Christmas!! ^^ and for those who doesn’t, may you have a warm evening with your loved ones =)

xoxo,

jo.

Sharing Wisdom #2 (then updated!!)

yoan (admin)

I’ve posted a thread about wisdom before, as I am very wise for my age. *nods wisely*

  1. Can’t sleep? Start working on your thesis. It works wonders!
  2. Trying not to blog so very often (so that people will think that you actually have a life)? Commit to finishing your thesis. Voila! You get yourself a big fat blog.
  3. When on phone, girls don’t like it when guys ask them why they’re so quite (because you know they’re reading something online) and just when she’s being chatty, you ask for permission to sleep. Seriously, in some part of the world, that leads to a bitch-slap.
  4. If you are friends with someone who has (very) low self-esteem, try not to be the manipulative bitch you are when having lunch together with him/her by telling him/her what he/she should order (just because you want to have a taste and you’re not sure whether it’s good or not so you make him/her order it for you). He/She WILL want to have lunch with you FOR THE REST OF HIS/HER LIVE. And that wont always result in victory at your end. Trust me, people with low self-esteem could be REALLY ANNOYING. (Having to HAVE TO TYPE so many His/Her and He/She is starting to get into my nerves).
  5. Guys, DON’T YOU EVER DARE GIVING THE SIDE-EYE when your PMSing girlfriend is pouring a tinsy bitsy more of the apple syrup for her pancake. Just let her get sugar-high. That’s safer than having her be on ‘normal PMSing mood’ anyways, right?
  6. Slap your friend when DIA starts to say MAAF out of habit. It’s annoying. Go audition for Bajaj Bajuri.
  7. You know your friendship is THAT deep when your friend BARELY apologize.
  8. There’s no such thing as “the cool genre” when talking about music. If your boyfriend automatically sings to a folk song randomly played on the radio, then let him be. On food, however, there is. So if your best friend has never had the devil’s curly hair (Indomie telor kornet keju-nya PAK MOES), it is OK to post about it on the internet that he is not the man you thought he was. (I know Gan, I’m being annoying. I’m just REALLY MESMERIZED with that fact).
  9. Never believe nor even think that you have “a type” when it comes to dating. You will most likely get attached to someone completely different.
  10. When your needy PMSing girlfriend text you something annoyingly mushy, reply asap as if your life depends on it. or else her cellphone would turn empty batt when she’s not home.
  11. No, baby, I’m not talking about you. It’s about a friend of mines with her boyfriend. Really. Seriously, I’m not kidding. Relax. It’s not about you. Trust me. Really.
  12. This next few lines is directed to NINA, a very good and urm unique friend of mine. You know you’re in love trouble when you talk faster than me. No one sane and cute talks faster than me. So just answer his calls, already. He asked me about you through ym.
  13. This is for u-know-who-u-r retarded friend of mine: You know you’re into someone when he’s completely unavailable or gay. kidding. (but not so kidding). “you know you’re into someone when you bring up his name at very random moments then call me a bitch for asking about him” (??)
  14. Random: One of the security guard at my place is ganteng me’ten-teng according to adin and atri. I must say… they are telling the truth (with an exaggeration). Girls, his name is angga. I wasn’t planning on going out (as it was weekend, and sane people stay in on weekends), but I was really currious, so I went down on him stairs looking for him to ask him for my car keys because I need to get my sandals. and please don’t tell him you read it here. the things I do for my mates. gosh.
  15. Andro, he’s nothing compared to you. or your arms. your shoulders. your back. your chest. and the abs… btw, have I mentioned your shoulders? oh, and your severe cheesiness ^^
  16. You know you should spend some time out of Bandung when you complain about how long it takes to get to Paris Van Java from Ayam Goreng Suharti (Cemara).
  17. If you’re currently in a relationship and planning to go eat at Pak Moes on a Saturday Night and play “What If” or “Marry, Fuck, Kill” game with your bestfriend that you haven’t gotten the chance to spend some quality time with, bring your cellphone. If you’re single, then, too bad.
  18. You know you have to go to the bathroom when … it feels like it. So, enough for sharing wisdom #2.

ah-oh before I go, can anyone (preferably a cute IT geek, part time. full time ridiculously wealthy and has no idea about it. male. above 30) help me with the whole placing-picture-on-my-posts madness? Because no matter which box I check before uploading, THE IMAGES WILL ALWAYS APPEAR ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE POST AND IT’S STARTING TO GET INTO MY NERVES. SEE THE PICTURE??? I SET IT ON ‘CENTER’! -problem solved now, thanks to Michael Jubel who made me try change the theme-

PS. I freakishly miss my quirky boyfriend so bad! and it has NOTHING to do with that picture.

Announcement.

yoan (admin)

I have moved to another place. Now living alone. Still in Bandung. No, will not tell people where I live. For those who already knew, I will not tell which floor and room. No, I wont go out for movies or dinner. YES, STILL WORKING ON THESIS. Reason I moved out: need to be anti-social for a while so that I could finish my thesis before THE DEADLINE. so help me god. motivate me friends.

xoxo.

PS. to Atri: Thank you muchly, I had a blast! ^^ had tons of fun and good laughs. My future wrinkles will show you how fun it was spending my early 20s with you. Enough with the mushiness,, now you can missplace anything as you please without having me bitch about it, YAY! haha… You may also leave your wet towel on the bed or even wear your jeans to bed! Just make sure you wear some clothes when running around downstairs passing that gigantic window, because I wont be there to wake up in the middle of the night to check the doors. over and over again, while you laughing from inside the bedcovers YOU MEANIE.

be good, you!

PPS. If Kisrun Tegal (a.k.a Hamish Blake) ever comes back, tell her I didn’t say bye. And NO TRI, I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH HER DISAPPEARING! *stares meaningfully* Remember to tell Adin and Nina about me HAVING NOTHING to do with it.

am gonna miss ya loads! *punch kick and grope*

the very good friend in me feels the need to post this on the internet.

yoan (admin)

.

I’m not sure if I can be friends anymore with my 10 years of bestfriend, Egan. A few days ago, I had just knew that he has never, in his 4 years and 3 months in Bandung, and I repeat in capslock for a more dramatic expression - NEVER tasted the devil’s curls in PAK MOES. For those who knows what Pak Moes is; No, I’m not kidding. For those who have no idea what PAK MOES is; you are so uncool.

Pak Moes is a warong (so if Sarung is Sarong, then Warung is Warong, right? *GRIN*). Pak Moes is THE place to have orgasmic noodles Indonesians refer as INTERNET which stands for INdomie TElor koRNET (noodles, eggs, and cornet beef. sometimes most times added with a mesmerizing amount of cheese). And some (strongly) believes that roti bakar keju susu Pak Moes lebih MHANTAB dari yang disajikan di MADTARI, The Legend. One bowl of INTERNET is IDR 7000 and they give mineral water for free because THEY ARE THAT AWESOME HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THAT KEVIN BELLAMY EGAN THE VERY GOOD FRIEND IN ME IS CONCERNED.

So one morning, my dear friend was having the hots for noodles. (That sentence sounded really weird having to know what male usually have the hots for in the mornings). So I suggested breakfast at Pak Moes which got a weak “ok” from him (I usually get a very perky respond from my housemate everytime I say the word MOES), then was followed by a “where’s Pak Moes?” that made me go ARE YOU SHITTING ME. Pak Moes is like less than 500 meter from our campus, which means it’s only about 1 km from his place and LESS THAN 5 METERS FROM WHERE HE USED TO EAT NASI PADANG (KAPAU).

A very wise warrior, KUNG FU PANDA, once said “there is no charge for awesomeness”. Well I’ll tell you this, in PAK MOES, they do charge awesomeness. Less than a dollar it is. But you get to experience a tongue orgasm like no other *nods wisely*

Egan was an internet virgin. Now he’s one of the cool people.

Happy Idul Fitri ^^

yoan (admin)

When you feel I’m being this pain in the ass slash psychotic bitch slash %$&@?!, I want you to know that I wasn’t being myself. But whoever that person is -is sorry. Please forgive them. And for those who celebrates it:

“HAPPY IDUL FITRI”

Have a great one, everyone!

Image Source.

Plat D

yoan (admin)

On 2006 I deleted my blog for no logical reason (read: nervous breakdown caused by a heart-breaking hair-cutting room-redecorating break up). I still have one at friendster (who doesn’t?), notes on facebook (being the 4N@k 9aWoL I am. not), and another one at blogsome (just because it rhymes with threesome), but they are both going to hell, so nevermind. (OH! and another one in multiply. See!! I’m everywhere!! –> which also shows I have commitment issues *sigh*).

So this year I’ve decided to -again- start writing on the Internet by creating this new blog with one sentimental explanation: I feel like it.

Caution: I am a very bad story teller slash writer slash blogger slash person. My poor skills on telling lies make my life here in Bandung seems pretty dull to you with glamorous lifestyle (read: expensive bad habits and expensive bad habits). Therefore, there’s no need to menyimak (what’s the proper English word for that?) my blog unless you have no social life or your sense of humor is beyond lame that you find me funny.

And now’s the part where I tell you about where I live. I’ve been living in Bandung for the past four years now. I’m actually from Jakarta, as in I was born there, but truth be told, I don’t know Jakarta THAT much. I’ve only lived there for about 6 years since the big guy whom I call dad, makes us move a lot. He’s not a drug smuggler though. I am pretty much sure.

I love it here in Bandung and am actually thinking of staying here permanently. But that was before I met this charming weirdo who gave a whole new meaning to the word “mushy”. Anyways, Bandung is most famous of its food. You can find ANY food you want here in a SWEET price. And Bandung is also THE place for male with media-taste of female. Almost all female teenagers in Bandung have very clean WHITE skin and they…all…look…alike. Somehow they all look like those chicks in “what the fuck with love?” movie (Ada Apa dengan Cinta?-red). Film yang inovatif! Terobosan jenius untuk benar-benar menyeragamkan seragam sekolah tanpa paksaan atau ancaman minus di buku tata tertib siswa. But on their college years, to survive, they developed a style different from their fellow teenagers: distro. And it’s not that I have anything against them… In fact, in a way, I n.v them for being such eye-candies.

Unlike Jakarta, Bandung at nights, are freezing cold! Well at least my part of Bandung is. And the traffic here is less crowded because they are all one ways. Repeated for more dramatic expression: ALL ONE WAYS. So, yes, everything you heard about Bandung is true. Especially the things about TRASH HEAP and MEN: They really are that bad.

But the people I call friends here are those kinds you want to kemut-kemut all day! ^^

akhirnya si Tupai jatuh juga…

yoan (admin)

Because I’m currently not feeling very well, I really don’t want to force my brain to think of the proper English for “lebih baik aku liat anu kamu belom di sunat daripada harus pipis di pispot” atau “rambutku belom keramas dari hari rabu sehingga baunya seperti minyak tanah”, this article will be written in Indonesian. So for those who don’t understand Indonesian, I am sorry you are not that cool.

Setelah 22 tahun menyombongkan ketangguhan diri -ngga pernah opname- akhirnya kesompralan mengetuk pintu di Rabu pagi. Being (cute and) terkapar, I spent my nights di Rumah Sakit Santo Borromeus, Bandung, reading Female, Esquire, Calvin & Hobbes, main FIFA07 atau Asphalt3 di hape, atau menciptakan dialog-dialog sendiri di dalam kepala (kasian yah?). Sore selalu rame. Banyak yang menjenguk sambil menyelundupkan makanan-makanan yang saya suka seperti Pocky Strawberry, Tiramisu, dan Martabak Keju Susu. Yang terakhir sebenernya bukan cemilan favorit saya (except the Keju bit. I mean, SIAPA YANG NGGA DOYAN KEJU SELAIN MBAK SUMI??). Martabak manis itu cemilan favoritnya Egan yang dia bawa untuk di makan sendiri. Egan, “eh Yo..pengen baca Kompas ngga? kayaknya sakit-sakit gitu enaknya baca Kompas dehh…”. Iya Gan, beli Kompas aja sana.

dan berhubung suhu tubuhku sempet mencapai 39,8,,, Atri berinisiatif menempelkan semua yang dingin-dingin ke badanku. Above is a picture of her menempelkan tutup gelas ke punggungku. Masih ada banyak foto tempel-menempel yang lain -di bagian tubuh lain opkros, yang kalau aku aplot disini semuanya…..my boyfriend will disown me. and I can’t afford that because no matter how menyebalkan he is sometimes, I love him enough not too voodoo him for the fact that he is THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY yang ngga memungkinkan dia nungguin aku di rumah sakit. But he calls every now and then so it’s ok. (see, Baby! it’s OK if you call every now and then! *stares meaningfully*) Anyways, here’s a picture of my survival kit…

Truth be told, at first I didn’t really want to tell my parents about me being hospitalized, but then I ’sort of’ have to because Egan was STARING at me, so yeah oh well.. And so I called my dad,, who didn’t only panicked about my condition,, but was ALSO CONCERNED with MY THESIS!! Nevertheless,, he’s the coolest dad!! (read: saya mendapat a ‘get well soon gift’ via Mandiri! bwahaha…) Dan my dear mother went, “tuh kan! makannya ngga teratur sih!”. Then told me to put Egan and the phone and continued, “Yoan tuh kalau makan ngga pernah teratur sih Gan! coba makannya di jaga! ngga bakal sampe sakit gitu kan..” MY GAWD WOMAN, this is my FIRST time being hopitalized and di infus yang rasanya kayak digigit kuda (thanks to boyfriend for the analogi), and my very first time using pispot (please try not to imagine me doing it. and I am pretty much sure I never used one when I was a kid, because…I believe in going along with nature; I pee anywhere), so IMAGINE HOW FRIGGIN WEIRD THAT FEELS TO ME! A-PIS-POT!. And there is no problem so awful that you can’t add some guilt to it and make it even worse! But after all the “salah sendiri makan ngga teratur” drama, she was pretty sweet. so I guess it’s ok. (see, mother! it’s OK if you’re being sweet!) Here’s another picture of my survival kit…

Left: Egan sukses ngebenerin kalung saya. Right: read bellow…

Egan: “hehe…yang dijenguk siapa…yang ngejenguk siapa…”

Yoan: “hehehe… yeah.. but I wouldn’t want to be in any other clique…”

I Love You Guys!! ^^

Thanks juga buat kalian yang sudah datang menjenguk atau menelfon atau mengesemes ^^ Kalian adalah bagian signifikan dari proses penyembuhan saya =)

it sucks, but you can’t control everything.

yoan (admin)

Every thing seemed easier when we were kids. No offense to those who had it hard. And that first statement doesn’t mean I’m ungrateful for the things I have in my life now –it’s just me having a breakdown I guess. I’m currently feeling as blue as an indigo girl (??) So just be a good friend and nod your way to my heart.

You see, as we grow up, we learn that:

  1. Daddy is not superman
  2. Mommy will stop making pudding “for your own good”
  3. The doggy can’t bath himself
  4. There are no such things as cleaning elves that does your bed and laundry
  5. reason number three and four creates what we know as “chores”
  6. Vehicles need gasoline
  7. Gasoline requires money
  8. Money requires working
  9. Your bestfriend doesn’t have a lifetime supply of free cellular phone calls
  10. (unlike you) your lover has a life
  11. Teachers don’t really give a rat’s ass about you skipping classes
  12. The ones who do –are always right!
  13. Running around naked could get you rapped -or worst, arrested!!
  14. Snow is ONLY white. NEVER yellow. so don’t eat the yellow ones. ever.
  15. People have sex not only for procreation (I know.. I know.. that totally doesn’t make sense, right?)
  16. Christina Aguilera’s chest is fake. And the hardest thing you learn growing up is… (caution: if you’re a perfectionist you need to either hold on to something really tight before reading my number 17 or immediately close this window)
  17. you can’t control everything.

Sucks ass doesn’t it? The gasoline fact slaps pretty hard too, yes?

So I think I’ll go scratch “x-ray vision” and put in “self-multiply*” in my Christmas list under “superpowers” because no one is perfect under the sun. But I am sure that if I could multiply myself, I’d be the closest one. Or the closest ‘ones’.

I’d be able to help free Tibet at the same time I work on my thesis, get my tire problem fixed at the garage, drive two different friends to the hospital, and make poverty history.

I guess I’m one of those people who finds it really hard to master the art of “letting go”. The art of accepting that you can’t make everything perfect in a day; that Rome wasn’t build in a day; that it’s killing to wait –but there will always be a tomorrow; another chance to fix things; to make an improvement; to put an end to something that has been cramping you all night. oh come tomorrow!

tomorrow…tomorrow…I love you, tomorrow…! you’re always a day awaaaaay….

* self-multiply is the power Son Gokong has, says the comic junkie housemate, where he just needs to pull out one hair then blows it to create ‘another him’. We don’t know what the actual name for that power is, so I just call it “self-multiply” since the only thing in my head this past few months are either facebook, friendster, or multiply.

PS. Untuk kamu tahu, I sincerely hope that the things going wrong in your life will get better.

PPS. Untuk kamu, I could have done it better. I’m sorry I didn’t, but I’m willing to try harder next time.

September 9th, 2008. 11:51 PM, at dinning table.

yoan (admin)

.

Ad: Get well soon, Jo!

Jo: Yeahh thanks.. but I think I also need therapy for this illness…

At: Because it’s mentally…

Jo: Yea…… I mean,, I take advices from people like her *glaring at housemate*

At: Yea…

Jo: Yea…